This is my motto now.
I am fucking terrified and mortified, but I have an appointment for an intake for an outpatient treatment program on Monday.
The counselor suggested it to me, and I did not want to do it... but after deep searching and my inability to stay sober and worsening mental state, I can't continue to "TRY HARDER".. if I want to live, I have to try something different.
My partner is fully supportive of me doing this. Putting work on the back burner for a bit so I can get healthy.
I have to realize the amazing gifts I have right now. The love and support of my partner. The fact I actually have some TIME to do this. I have insurance.
I'm scared, but I also feel like I may finally have a chance.
The biggest reason I didn't want to do this, was out of embarrassment and shame. I didn't want my doctor knowing or anyone, especially my insurance company.
I am scared of being outed by hackers.
How fucking ridiculous is it that I would rather DIE maybe than risk people knowing my secret.
This is insane. This is the disease of addiction.
OMG. I can't believe I did this.
Good for you!! I am proud of you! Taking the steps you need to quit drinking. We each have to find our own path to sobriety. And who gives a rats ass what an insurance company thinks of us??? They are there to help us get better, be it from drinking or breaking a leg!!! It only matters what YOU think!!! xo
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