Day 2 again.

After my last entry about self loathing and hatred, I went to the gym to swim. On the way there, I ran over a dog who was off leash and ran into the street. The dog's owner was right there (why people would ever have their dogs off leash, especially right next to a kind of busy street is beyond me) and of course, I stopped. It was making these horrible sounds, but was alive and the man took him to the emergency vet.

I don't know if the dog lived or not, but it was so horrible. I feel so bad, even though I know it wasn't my fault.

My mind almost exploded and you got it, I came home, got my money, and went to the liquor store where I bought 6 nips of flavored vodka and drank them in less than an hour with diet pepsi along with 5 benadryl. I passed out about an hour later.

My partner left his keys at the office in the city and his car parked at a Subway station just outside of the city (he went to a game after work) and texted me 5 times because he needed me to come pick him up to give him a spare set of keys. 

Since I was passed out and my phone was downstairs, I never got the texts, so he had to go back into the city and get his keys and then didn't get home until 12:30 am. He was pissed. I don't blame him.

I know the dog thing was extreme stress, but life is stress. There will always be things like this. 

I managed to get through one of the most stressful things ever sober years ago (the doctors thought my daughter had cancer which would have been a terminal cancer). This happened when I was 4 months sober at the time and I was able to stay sober. Most likely because I knew I had to be there 100% for my child. 

I did take care of a few things yesterday I have been putting off.