Sunday, May 22, 2016

Day 2

It's strange that a day of sobriety feels like a triumph. I have many days of sobriety; often three, four or five in a row before I drink again.

Taking drinking off the table helps with my obsessive thoughts because a lot of my drinking is also obsessing over when/where/how much I will drink. 

"You can drink if you walk 3/13 miles to/from the liquor store" .. and then only buying exactly what I plan on drinking that day.

Fortunately, I stopped driving drunk years ago after realizing how incredibly lucky I was to have never killed anyone or getting a drunk driving charge. 

My body feels like it's in panic mode a bit, but that will go away in a couple of days. 

I bit the bullet and weighed myself this morning. I have gained around 15 lbs in the past two months, and much more over the past two years. I am officially 115 lbs over my ideal boy weight. Bloated, My skin looks horrible. 

People used to tell me how young I looked. Few do now. 

My partner went out for the day yesterday, and that's when I would usually drink (or start drinking). Since drinking is off the table, I was able to put it out of my mind. That is a huge relief. 

This week, I will make a doctors appointment to get the blood work done I've been putting off for a YEAR. 

I start my diet tomorrow. I am glad that I am not dieting today or yesterday. Since I'm beginning a low carb diet, I have food in the fridge I need to eat so it doesn't go to waste. I cook a lot and have a lot of leftovers in the fridge. I don't eat meat, so the low carb diet is kind of hard to do, but it also helps a lot with blood sugar issues and like I said earlier, gives me something to obsess about. 


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