Assessment

I went to the assessment. It went well.I was totally honest. I will be starting and intensive outpatient program on Friday. It's at least two weeks long, maybe longer. I will also be seeing the counselor I saw today once a week in addition tot he program. I have an appointment with him Monday.

I feel totally relieved. I checked out of the hotel, but then booked another one for the next three days.

I'm going to try to cut back/detox slowly over the next three days. If that doesn't work, I promised them I'd call their detox crisis team and go to detox. I have to go "home" Thursday.

It's very foolish of me to have spent $1000 this week on a hotel.

I don't really care. I really don't.

My 100% focus right now needs to be on me getting sober and into recovery. (I'm not foolish enough to think that the hotel is part of that..  I'm hoping I can get my shit together enough to slowly wean off the alcohol over the next three days.

A huge reason I'm staying in the hotel is because this is the hotel chain that my partner and I always stayed in... and I used to travel with him for work, so it feels like a second home to me. We stayed here when he worked, any time we traveled, and on all of our vacations. I miss being with him and I miss feeling like I have a home, and this feels like home to me.

Sad but true. It's a very expensive "home".