Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I go to my substance abuse intake. I am going to be 100% honest and beg for help.

I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I'm still at the hotel, but I'm actually not drinking as much as I thought I was going to. I suppose that's a good thing. I'm still drinking more than most people would ever dream of. I'm on my 6th high alcohol beer, and I have an entire 5th of vodka. There's no way in hell I'll even come close to drinking that today. I have to leave by 11:30 am tomorrow. 

I feel so gross and dehydrated. I am craving healthy food. I've been living off of cheese, arugula, and crackers since Friday, and only eating that after I am done drinking, which was around 7 pm yesterday. 

I think this particular substance abuse counseling might offer an outpatient program. I hope it does. I need something. I need structure. I am probably in need of detox. I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow.